Earlier this week, I took a walk in a beautiful, green, leafy area. I needed to clear my head. I came across a stunning tree— very tall, steady, and stretching confidently into the sky. At first glance, it looked like it had everything under control.

But as I got closer, I noticed something subtle: it was gently propped up by a support structure. Quiet, almost hidden, but essential. It had been created for a purpose.

It reminded me of something at the heart of my Conscious Grit© Model, the idea that strength isn’t about doing it all alone. It’s about having the right kind of support around you when things feel uncertain or hard to navigate.

In my model, one of the key steps is appointing your “kitchen cabinet”, a handful of trusted people whom you can turn to for perspective, encouragement, and truth-telling when it matters most. They might be family, friends, or professionals with relevant skills, information and contacts.

These aren’t people who fix your problems for you. They’re the ones who help you stay grounded as you figure it out yourself.

Here’s a story from my book, Conscious Grit: From Stuck to Unstoppable, that brings this to life:

Nicole had done everything she could to make ends meet, but hit a tipping point with maxed-out credit cards and rising pressure. That’s when she shifted from unconscious effort to conscious grit. She created a plan, focused on the future, and—crucially—reached out.
She asked her mum to be part of her kitchen cabinet. Together, they cut up the credit cards and mapped out a goal to become debt-free in eight months, with a beach holiday as the reward. Nicole didn’t hit the mark exactly, but fourteen months later, they were packing their bags for that well-earned trip.
That’s conscious grit in action. Not perfection—just progress with purpose, and finding the support to set realistic goals and keep persisting.

So here’s a gentle question for you:

Who’s in your kitchen cabinet right now?

And who might you invite in?